Monday, July 8, 2013

Chapter 4 - fair & foul: Part 6

28 minutes

“To have me join the provisional government?”

It was such an absurd thing to suggest that he couldn't keep himself from spontaneously asking. It seemed it wasn't only when this man was making jokes that he said ridiculous things.

“At today's assembly, I'll wipe this place clean of the old Sanctum associates. I said that instead of putting something in their place, we'd find someplace new, but public administration is not something that can wait.”

“And so you'll have a provisional government?”

“Right. If we include you, we already have a list of primary members.”

“You say you don't fit the bill, but I think I fit the part even less...”

He wasn't a soldier or a bureaucrat. How much use would someone who is but a mere researcher be?

“You're the one that said fitting the bill is something that will come after. None of that matters at all. I just want your personal connections. And a personal history so clean that you couldn't find a speck of dust on it.”

“My personal history and connections? Both of them are completely research related. At any rate, I don't think they measure up to what you're looking for.”

Certainly, there was the fact that his specialty lies in economics, and he did know a modest number of businesspeople. Because of the fact his place of employment had been a Sanctum think tank, he also had the opportunity to meet Sanctum dignitaries. One would think that having a military background, Rygdea would have had more than enough connections across the board, but perhaps that would be an overestimation.

“If a researcher of my caliber would do then shouldn't there be plenty of other suitable candidates?”

Rygdea ignored that and went on to an entirely different topic.

“Humans are real greedy. Once they get something, they won't ever part with it no matter the circumstances. Even if it was something they got under the table.”

“That's how things are. The only people who will part with their vested interests are real saints or total idiots.”

He realized as he said it himself. What Rygdea had been trying to say, that is. Dismantling the system they had until now and creating a new order meant temporarily giving up what they had until that point. There was no way they wouldn't encounter resistance.

For example, a thief would never return what he had stolen. But a thief who had their stolen goods taken away from them would at once take on the role of victim. As if completely forgetting that they had done the exact same thing. It probably wouldn't have anything to do with the legitimacy of their acquisition methods. Humans are built to experience unbearable displeasure when they have something taken from their hands.

“I see. So what you'll be doing now is the task of stripping people of their vested rights.”

P170-171

“It will no doubt cause resentment. There will be considerable resistance, and there's no telling what setbacks you'll face.”

“Probably. It's too bad there aren't any saints or idiots in the former Sanctum.”

Although, this is probably the only chance we'll have at brandishing the axe of revolution. Now that the fal'Cie are hibernating and we can't no longer maintain our previous way of life, the people's sense of resignation will weaken their resistance. If we let this chance slip by, there likely won't be another.

“That's the thing.”

A smile came to Rygdea's face as he paused for effect.

“It'll be up to someone of your personage. You have influence in both the political and business worlds, yet nobody has anything on you. There aren't many people who could hold you back.”

“That's the strength of a have-not person.”

“Don't be so modest. How could you say a thing like that as someone with that many contacts and connections. And even so, everything about you is utterly pure white”

“That's just a result of being too unskilled [or clumsy]. I'm just no good at presenting myself well.”

If he were a little more skilled, then he might have attempted to participate in bad things, or gotten called into such things. There had been infighting between researchers, and people would get in each other's ways. There were even people who tried to lure others into traps. But everyone could see Bartholomew Estheim wasn't suited for such trickery.

If he wasn't any good at playing his cards then he would just be honest, he thought. Even if that meant doing things the long way. Although, such detours were what caused him to turn into the father who paid no attention to his family.

“You're about the only oddball who would secretly bring me such a proposition.”

“It's just that you're surrounded by stupid uniformed people. For Pete's sake, open your eyes.”

“Oh brother,” said Rygdea who made a ridiculous face and then suddenly looked serious again.

“Just now you asked ‘shouldn't there be plenty of other suitable candidates,' didn't ya? Well, there aren't any. Such a person, that is. The only person who's so clean that you couldn't find a single speck of dust on is you.

For some reason, the moment he heard that, his wife's face appeared in his head.

“Do the job that only you can do.”

When had that been? It was around the time he had become troubled by the days when work was so busy that he didn't even have the time to see Hope. Even if it had been the right thing to do as a researcher, what about as a husband or as a father? Could he just leave things at that?

What cleared up those worries was the words of his wife.

“I think that happy memories of playing lots with dad, or being taken out to places are lovely. A child around Hope's age would probably wish for that. But, parents can do more than that for their kids, right?”

P172-173
Then, Nora asked, “Do you remember the essay Hope wrote a while back?” and smiled. No matter how busy he was, he would always read the essays and papers Hope had written for school. He thought he would at least do that to make up for the time they couldn't spend talking.

That essay was called “What I want to be in the future.” It was a topic on which children going to school were always made to write about at least once or twice. It hadn't been long since he started school so the sentences were a little awkward. Even so, he was deeply touched by the sentence that read “I want to become a researcher like my dad.”

“It's important that he can think ‘I want to become like dad in the future' isn't it? That means you're doing a job worthy of a child to think that way.”

“It's alright,” his wife asserted faithfully.

“Hope would understand. Even though he doesn't know, when he's a little older he'll be able to understand. When Hope is an adult, it'll be great if he has a father he can be proud of, that he can look up to. The thought that his dad did lots of good work will support him all his life. Even long after we die, our child will always be able to live with his head held high.”

He made up his mind after hearing those encouraging words. From then on, no matter what, he would never do anything that would weigh on his conscience. In the future, Hope would be seeing all of the work he accomplished hereafter. He told himself he couldn't forget that he would be looking.

Was he doing work that Hope could be proud of, now? Could he continue to be that kind of a father in the future?

When he asked himself those questions, he discovered the answer that he would to give Rygdea.

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